i’ve been wondering about yesterday, what mizan said to me when he was ranting. a lot, to the point where i slept a little bit too late thinking about it (and as a result waking up at 5.50) and it’s STILL bothering me.
am i that closed off?
i mean, i know lah i tend not to talk about my emotions or even my thoughts a lot because it’s so tiring and it makes me feel vulnerable. but to the point where i’m not considered to be so open?
hell, even she couldn’t read me when i told her it’s very clear that one of us had moved on (i’m talking about her, not me). she was confused because it seemed like i had moved on???? what was going on, i’m as open as i could be.
what.
does it take a meltdown for me to actually show what i feel?
which brings me to my next point: am i not fully honest to people?
okay i admit, sometimes i tend to say ‘i don’t know’ because i don’t know how to answer people, or genuinely don’t know the answer. but is it to the point where you don’t know whether i’m sugarcoating, lying or telling the truth? is it that bad?
i don’t know guys, i’m so tired of thinking things like this. i just want to live a carefree life why can’t i feel so easy each bleeding time?!
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