yap #3

 it’s the way i feel like i victimise myself for clout.

i wish i could explain to you why i felt like that. but that would take 300 days because i’m explaining complex emotions while still trying to use layman terms, which would make it harder for me to realise where i stopped and yada yada… you get what i mean. 

then once i feel like i’ve victimised myself, i’ll go and withdraw myself and make it harder for me to talk about my emotions and then i end up acting toxic and oh my gosh i hate myself. 

it’s hard to get on terms with it, though…